Yesterday at church there was a lady behind me warbling sweetly as we sang an old hymn that made me think of my Nana. My Nana could really sing. I remember her belting out that hymn through rosy lipsticked lips- the lower lip bearing a black mark from biting down on it all the time in worry.
She worried a lot. And she had her reasons. She had her challenges because of life with a man who had his particular challenges with alcohol. But by the time I was hanging around their house, as a child, my Papa wasn't drinking anymore. But the black mark on Nanas lip was still there.
I thought of all this while we were worshipping. Well, I was trying to worship. But my mind was wondering. I got thinking about the lineage I come from. Women with strong character, big problems, and plenty to deal with. My Mom battles depression. I have battled Fear and Anxiety. And when I say battle, I do mean battle.
Becoming lion-hearted while at the same time becoming a gentle lamb who can be led by God is no easy thing. We have to do our battling while we are staying tender hearted, and I haven't figured out how to do that perfectly yet.
But I have to say that I do feel fit for these times we are in. I think God has made us ready for whatever we face. It's a done deal, in a way- and yet we also ask Him to make us fit for battle, make us stout hearted and unafraid. And He does both. He already made a way for us, and He continues to make a way, blazing through tough uncharted territory- in our eyes- and planting vineyards in the middle of deserts.
Today I'm coloring my hair (it's long overdue) and I'm putting on some bright lipstick. At the same time, I've got my battle gear on. I'm all set for the wonder and the wild time that each day is.
It's good to be alive.