Where I've Never Gone Before

So many people are moving. Some people I know have enjoyed the miraculous sale of their house after many months of waiting and waiting. Some have to move quickly due to a job transfer. As the school year winds up, many are thinking about what life will be like in the new town they are going to.

Now, not everyone is physically moving. Some of us are just moving onward. I hate to say "just" moving onward because it is no small thing to let go of the past, to fix your eyes on what is unseen, to take a deep breath, and by faith prepare for change, for new experiences, for increased understanding in how to look at things. Moving onward involves a resolute transfer of your affections. You may love certain memories or have enjoyed a wonderful experience, but now you're sensing that you have to move onward and go on to something new.

I know that our family will have some changes just due to the fact that our son will be living down south next year. Visiting him- or getting him home for a visit- will be no small thing. We now will have planes and/or long distance auto trips that take a whole day or more just to reconnect with each other in person. Then on top of that, we will be parents of just one child at home. I am looking at moving onward with my writing and speaking and ministry to women. My husband and I are praying about possibilities: the fact that our future is not in what we have done or in what we know, but it has to do with where we have never gone before. Maybe it's new terrain, a new landscape, or a new business or ministry- but whatever our future holds, it is not something that we will naturally feel comfortable with and used to. I do know that.

The One constant in our future is the One who holds our future. He solidifies what I feel about moving forward, moving onward: the Lord will pave the way, go before me, make the rough places smooth (Isaiah 45:2). It's His delight to do all this for me- and it's my delight to go where I have never gone before, certain that I have no need to be afraid. It's an adventure. It's a journey by faith. And I'm declaring how good it's going to be.

Spring Forward

This is a typical Spring morning in upstate New York: you open the front door and try to get a feel for the weather so you know whether to dress in sweaters and socks or to throw on a t-shirt and sandals. It's a fashion adventure, every day. And if you don't care about fashion, then it's an adventure of another sort. For those who have allergies and asthma, it's a question of what the day will do to you: will you be sneezing, coughing, gasping for air or running around playing Frisbee and happily taking in the sunshine?

I've got doctor's appointments to schedule, an orthodontist appointment for one child, prescriptions to fill for the other child, a quick jaunt to the school to drop off my kids, and then back to the school to pick one up later. This is all about attending to the necessities of life. I'm not doing any major dreaming here- or goal setting or prayerful planning with a pad of paper. This day is about the basics of health, education, breathing, and reuniting at the house tonight over a supper I have yet to decide on. I already know that today I am just going to be glad I can take care of what I can take care of.

I am not going to do anything heroic today (not that I know of); and I'm not going to be doing anything that seems grand or of a breakthrough nature. But I am going to live today- live it up to the max. And for me that means I am going to be glad I am a mom, be glad I have the ability to handle lots of appointments and issues and needs. I'm going to be thankful for the ability to cope with many small things as well as the ability to cope with the large big things in life when they arise.

HE makes me ABLE to meet what the day brings.

What's Ahead?

It's Friday, gray and almost rainy. It's the conclusion of many things and the beginning of some wonderful new things. That's life in general; and that's how my personal life seems to be right now. We're winding up some things, nearing the completion of my son's senior year of high school, anticipating the beginning of some new things, and feeling surprisingly at peace in the midst of all this change.

If there's anything that I've gotten used to- it's the fact that things are always changing. The good and bad of that? New, good things can spring up like a gorgeous flower that suddenly appears. The bad thing about change: you're in a constant state of trying to internally prepare and it's hard to prepare for what you do not know, do not yet see.

I think about that favorite verse of many- in Jeremiah- that underscores what I'm dealing with currently:

Jer. 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

In the Message version, we see this aspect of God's heart for His people, His concern that they KNOW what He is up to :

10-11This is God's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

I just love how the Message version singles out the underlying truth that God is expressing here: He knows what He is doing! He has "it all planned out". He's got a way for us to take. And His intention is that we KNOW He is leading us, guiding us- into the unknown, yes, but into His grace and His care and His plan as well.

For those who are in the midst of change, those who are about to graduate and go on to something new, those who are about to move or about to change roles, whatever the change is- we've got a God who knows what He is doing. Prosperity- in this case- is the full realization of God's abounding grace and provision in such a way that we can look forward, look up, and greet the future with a sense of adventure and awe. Because what God has in mind is, ultimately, good.

That's How It Will Be

Several people have asked about my son being so far away from home next year when he goes off to college, inquiring about how I feel about this. I can tell you how I feel about it now: I feel grateful to God that my son has found a place that inspires him, that it has the programs in Media that he loves, that it has a campus setting where true hospitality and warmth and friendly relationships are evident . As to how I'll feel in the middle of next year, I'm not quite sure. It's uncertain what the ramifications of the great physical distance between us will be.

This morning I opened up to today's devotional reading in Oswald Chamber's book, My Utmost for His Highest, and this is what I read from April 29th's entry: "Our natural inclination is to be so precise- trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next- that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing." Oh yes, Mr. Chambers, I know what you're talking about here.

That's really the underlying issue when we talk about Surrender: what will happen when I surrender to God? If I give my life to Christ, will I be sent to some hut in the uttermost end of the earth? If I surrender the situation I'm in- to God- will He work the situation out or will He give me different feelings about it or the ability to cope with it? (and maybe you don't want the ability to cope with it- you want it solved!!).

I always come back to a little verse in Proverbs that I love: "The desire of the righteous is only good, But the expectation of the wicked is wrath" (Prov 11:23 NASB). Another way of zeroing in on the parallel between what a God-loving person wants and feels and what a person who rejects God has in sight is that one word "expectation". My expectation is that God is good and He does only good, not evil. While His ways don't always appear good or easy, I am repeatedly told in Scripture that not only are His ways higher than mine, but His essence and His work is- and has always been- good. First thing in the garden of Eden we read that God does a work of creating things and they're GOOD. From the first command of "let there be light" we see that God immediately declares and summarizes his work and the result of His work as good. "God looked at the light and saw that it was good."(Gen 1:4).

Now of course there are many times that at the start of an ugly situation we might mistakenly call it good- and we shouldn't. Or we might wrongly conclude that God wants something out of us in a situation and that isn't what He is doing. But in spite of uncertainty as to the complexity of God's ways and His thoughts, I know they are GOOD. And ultimately I will see and experience this good. Ultimately, or perhaps in Heaven, I will "see" the good when I didn't see it before. But my gut belief has to be settled on this topic because it continually comes up over and over again. While I may be uncertain as to what God is doing, what He is trying to extract out of me (like getting wine out of grapes), I know that what He IS and what He DOES is only good.


So when we talk about Surrender, we have to address our underlying question about what happens when we surrender to God: our underlying question is "Will it be good?". We want to know what God will do- but we won't know His plan in total. We won't know the myriad of ways He is trying to reach us, get through to us, grow us, mature us. There is uncertainty about what He will do, yes. But there's no uncertainty about HOW IT WILL BE: IT WILL BE GOOD.

God does no evil or harm to your soul. Settle that once and for all and you will be a person who looks at the future, who looks at the unknown, and takes God's hand and declares: I serve a good God. May it be unto me according to Your will.

And then you smile and look forward.

Delighted to Know You

I don't just relish the sun and the warmth of a glorious, bright day. I also love dark, gray, rainy days- such as the one today. These are days for pondering and contemplating, for cups of hot tea and a homemade scone if you care to quickly throw the ingredients together (they're surprisingly simple to make).

This Thursday is the last Women's LIFE Workshop for the year. We're concluding our year with the topic of Surrender: "Successful Women Wave a White Flag". I prayerfully picked out these monthly topics almost a year ago, and its so amazing to see how each month I have been seeing the application of each topic for my own life.

The Free Dictionary defines Surrender this way:
sur·ren·der (s-rndr)

1. To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion.

2. To give up in favor of another.

3. To give up or give back (something that has been granted): surrender a contractual right.

4. To give up or abandon: surrender all hope.

5. To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion: surrendered himself to grief.

6. Law To restore (an estate, for example), especially to give up (a lease) before expiration of the term.

Number 4 is one aspect of the word that we think of first: to give up or abandon. It's interesting how the example given for #4 is a rather negative one-to "surrender all hope". We first think of surrender when we think of the losing battle, the one who is about to collapse on the battle field and decides to wave the flag and admit defeat.

From the biblical perspective, it's almost the opposite, I think. When we surrender, we are giving ourselves to the One who ensures our victory, who redeems our life, who enhances our perspective with clarity and insight. We surrender because we TRUST Him- and He is the only One worthy of our complete and total trust.

There's so much more we can say about surrender, but we'll get to that Thursday night. For now, I'm thinking about this quote from My Utmost , April 20th's entry: "And once you do get to the point of total surrender to Him, you will be the most surprised and delighted person on earth."

Now, I love surprises- good surprises, I should say. And the idea that I can and should be so delighted with God, so surrendered to Him that my heart's desires are- of course- only the godly desires I should want, makes me want to get to this state of mind and heart. As Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart."

That command (that admonishment ) from Psalm 37:4 begins with a wonderful word- delight. And the complex subject of Surrender ends with this description of your state of being when you've surrendered all: that you are the most surprised and delighted of all people. Why? You're surprised because as agonizing as the process of surrender SEEMED to be, it was surprisingly simple- though hard- in laying it all down before Him. And you're delighted because everything about God is fresh and clear in your mind now that you are completely His, now that you're satisfied to be known as His child, redeemed, valued, encouraged, and bright with hope for all He is, and will do, in your life.

The minute we are endeavoring to release, let go, surrender- to God, something surprisingly delightful is about to happen!

Under the Sunlight

Yesterday Mu and I met for breakfast. We tried to not overstay our welcome at the restaurant, and after an hour or so, we took our conversation out into the parking lot. We stood there, talking, letting the sun warm us from the tips of our heads to our toes.

"Now I know why the Druids- was it the Druids?- worshipped the sun. I mean, isn't this sunlight incredible after a long winter?" she said.

I teased her about going pagan on me but I could laugh about this because my friend Mu is very sincere about digging into God's truth, asking good questions, searching for wisdom.

We were feeling light-hearted and happy yesterday. She celebrated the resolution our family had come to: our son, Alex, was going off to the college of his choice, far away, down south- and right where he should be. It all came together. God closed some doors and opened wide this door- and though this college is 13 hours away by car, it is dear to my heart already. When Alex and I visited in January we felt "at home" there, and the Media Communications program there is tops. My son is going to "go for it" and I'm whooping it up and celebrating this open road before him. I'll cry, later, when I miss him. But now it's time to anticipate how good it will be.

In the afternoon, I visited "Mother Joy"- a woman on our Women's LIFE Ministry Team. This lady is an older woman of faith, a bold explorer, a joy and a delight. She is recuperating after a fall. But this woman- though she is ...shall we say "advanced in years"?- is young at heart. I came to visit her and encourage her in her recovery, but she bolstered my spirits, my resolve to be a trooper for the Lord. I won't even list all the things she's been through, and yet she sits there, smiling, proclaiming how good God has been to her. Her joy is evidence that she has experienced the "goodness of God in the land of the living"- because this woman is alive in her faith, her expectation of good. And because she believes that she will receive good from God, she is quick to perceive it.

One of my favorite verses having to do with joy and fruitful living is Psalm 128:2 -
"You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you."

Obviously there are seasons in our life that we feel more well than at other times. There are times when we are reaping after years of sowing- such as parents who after 18 years are seeing their child go off to college, full of hope and expectation.

Then there are seasons in our life that we just want to get through. Sometimes I am about to rejoice over a victory and I remember a problem that I have. That's when I admonish myself, "Lauren- you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you." My part in the picture is to fully relish being a child of God who has no doubt that God can work it all out...in His timing...in His perfect plan.

My active faith sometimes requires me to spend time out in the sunshine, relishing the warmth and the joy I feel in that moment, knowing that it's part of God's plan for me to know how good I have it. I have a good God who loves me, is watching over me. I can trust Him. My responsibility is to perceive how His light makes the path before me become clear. I'm not supposed to live in darkness. And every chance I get to experience the sunlight, to lift my face to its warmth in gratitude, I'm supposed to remember the God who thought up the whole idea of light, of a shining sun that warms the earth. I'm supposed to remember that I haven't even begun to understand the warmth and the generosity of His loving heart toward me.

The Path Before You

Sometimes, in one single day, you can figure out a lifetime of problems. Oh, I don't mean that you suddenly have the answers to every problem you've ever had. I just mean that in one day, in one moment, you can have a revelation of something that gives you a new perspective of your past- of why you did certain things, of why you failed and why you succeeded in certain things. And this new perspective is one so enlightening that you now look forward to your future. It's not that you will never have another problem again. But now you realize that you will approach things differently.

This revelation I recently had came to me out of taking a deeper look at some of the parables Jesus taught on regarding open doors, closed doors. Maybe He didn't use that term exactly but that's what He was discussing. When He sent out the disciples, He was telling them what to do when they weren't accepted in a town (closed doors). When He taught on prayer, and the unspoken question was "What about prayers that don't get answered?" (closed doors), He answered by telling them to "Ask, and it shall be given unto you"- using the verb form of Ask meaning "KEEP ON Asking". When He spoke about the widow going to the unjust judge in search of justice, He spoke about why open doors sometimes occur- because you kept on, because you persisted, until your request was rightfully heard. I saw how many times Jesus was helping us to "get it right" and not falsely conclude or prematurely conclude that the doors were closed to us, permanently.

As our family has been dealing with important questions such as "What college is the right place for our son?" and "What work can we do that would be even more fruitful?", we have wanted to make sure that we heard the answers to these questions. We know God is not hesitant to guide us. Yet we all struggle with times that we feel we did not "get it right"- that we botched it up somehow because we misunderstood, or we over-spiritualized a situation. We felt we stumbled about- and yet we never intended to. We intended to pray, to ask God, to listen to Him, and therefore to be on our way, certain of our course.

Since I have been reading the Bible in this Contemporary English Version, I have been enjoying seeing certain favorite Scriptures come alive with new meaning. One of my favorite Proverbs in Proverbs 4:18,19. But here's how it looks in the CEV version:

"The lifestyle of good people is like sunlight at dawn
that keeps getting brighter until broad daylight.
The lifestyle of the wicked is like total darkness,
and they never know what makes them stumble."

I suddenly saw how much of a curse it is to keep stumbling about, keep making the same mistakes- and NOT know why! There's nothing worse than the situation of a person who is never progressing. Whether its constant self-sabotage, constant foolishness, or constant confusion, to not know why you are always failing and falling is a horrible curse!

The "lifestyle" (other versions use the word "path") of a godly person should be one where things are getting clearer and clearer. The internal lightbulb should be going on daily! You should be having so many "Ah-ha!" moments of discovery and revelation, that people will call you Einstein!

So if you're struggling with confusion, if you're constantly dealing with mistakes and failures or a constant internal sense that you don't know what you're doing- you first of all have to know that this is NOT supposed to be your lifestyle. Not if you're a believer in the the One who came to redeem your life from the pit! Not if you're "free" because "He who the Son sets free is free indeed".

Walking in this path of enlightenment, of ongoing revelation like that of sunlight making the shadows disappear, is your destiny. This is the heritage of the saints of God! To "never know what makes (you) stumble" is not your lot in life. No way, Jose'.

You and I are walking on a pathway where things are getting clearer and clearer. That's why, as Ps. 119:32 says " I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." And when we're free to progress, free to succeed in shaking off the restraints and the baggage and the old patterns, we are free to not only run onward, but to enjoy the Son shining down on us as we do so.

A Tidbit of a Thought for Today

Just a real quick post today and then I'll try to catch up with you all after that. For now, in a nutshell, here's what I'm meditating on: what open doors and closed doors have to do with the principle of Surrender.

"With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment.
Always let Him lead you,
and He will clear the road for you to follow."
Proverbs 3: 5,6 (CEV)

Spring Break

This week is Spring Break and we have had more than Spring-like weather here in New York. Today it felt like the middle of summer. The sun warmed my skin and eased my muscles so that I walked along, with my daughter, as though I was a kid again, carefree, smiling, and free. We spent the afternoon in a picturesque nearby town, ate gelatto, walked miles (it seemed) and came home with a riproaring appetite for tonight's supper of fajitas. My husband and son were thrilled when we laid out all the fixings on the table, and Harry waited hopefully by my feet in case anything was dropped. But nothing came his way. We ate it all.

Monday I am taking my son to visit one more college and then he is making his final decision. Spring is here, summer is on its way, then college starts in late August, and life is changing for us with this momentous event. I will be the mother of a college student- one who will most likely be hours away from home, in a whole new region of this country.

But for today, I still have both my chicks in the nest, my dog sprawled at my feet, my husband near by, and my heart full of gratitude. I feel very rich today. It's as if my eyes were opened wide- and I really saw all the blessings in living color.