Oh Happy Day

What I loved about today:

1. Bill and I slept till 9:00am- an absolutely miraculous event. We normally get up every single blessed day at 6am- can't seem to stay asleep past that. But this morning we snoozed and snored past the normal time and we woke up smiling at our achievement.

2. This afternoon our family went on a hike up Prospect Mountain and the views were so amazing that we remembered how tiny we were and how big God was. The sky was blue, the clouds were pierced with brightness, and we were all in a mood to receive and take in all the beauty. So we did. We took it in. We snapped photos everywhere. (I'll try to get them posted this week).

3. We came home hungry and feeling creative. So we did what we do best and made pizza. I got the dough just right. Alex used enough cheese to feed an army of mice. Bill loved the pepperoni I bought for the first time. Abby decorated her pizza as though she was beautifying it for a pageant. We blasted the music, opened the doors to let the breezes in, and we ate and laughed and ate and laughed. Can it get any better than this? I thought.

Hope you had an absolutely memorable day!

Dating Advice for Anyone Who's Ever Listened to Willie

If this was Monday night, I'd be watching the Bachelorette. I'm fascinated by that reality show, even if it has some stuff in it that's not exactly kosher. I'm always interested in why people choose what they do, and in particular, why women choose what they do when it comes to dating and potential marriage. I'm hoping that the bachelorette, Jillian, will choose substance, and not flash. But these shows have not always yielded promising results. I've narrowed my list down to a couple favorites who I think are good, solid men- but I don't know if Jillian will see what I see.

Speaking of favorites, for some reason my husband is not only playing a lot of old favorites, like Kenny G and BB King, but now he's also adding in....Willie Nelson. Yup. The King of Twang was crooning to us while we ate our dinner tonight. I managed to do a beautiful pork tenderloin roast- not undercooked (oh no, trichinosis!) but not overcooked either (oh no, we're eating leather for dinner!).

I was so enjoying the old crooner. He can really sing. But when Julio Iglesias joined him on that song "To All the Girls I've Loved Before", I started to notice the words. The chorus, in particular. Then I was laughing. Then I was disgusted. Then I thought of all the women who've bought this type of ridiculous reasoning, and I was mad.

There's nothing I hate worse than to be taken. Fooled. Like the way Eve was fooled by the serpent. Like the way men "worm their way into homes of weak willed women". Like the way people actually buy the stupid reasoning, which Willie and Julio sang, about why there were so many girls in their life and why they couldn't stay with one of them:

The winds of change are always blowing And every time I try to stay The winds of change continue blowing And they just carry me away

The thought of the wind sweeping a 200+ lb. man out the door and away from a loving woman is...well, ridiculous. I don't think the man tried hard enough to stay.

Love stays. Love sticks it out. Period.

Now, there are winds of change. That part of the verse is true. People change. Our ideas change. Our plans change. But what does that have to do with sticking it out with someone you profess to love?

Don't know why I'm ranting and raving about this, except to say that for almost 25 years I have been married to a man who does a lot of beautiful loving things to show he loves me:

He washes the dirty pots and pans that I hide in the oven (and there are some there, right now, as I write this!).

He listens to me- really listens to me when I talk to him.

He sees me as capable of doing anything I set my mind to.

He is patient when I'm not, and silly and humorous when I'm cranky.

He loves our two kids fiercely and fathers them in such a way that I don't think they'll have issues trusting that a Father God loves them eternally.

He does a lot. He loves me a lot. And most of all, no matter how the winds of change are blowing, he doesn't have to work hard to try and stay with me. He's practically glued to my side. He's a keeper. He's a Lover. He's my Everything.

And I didn't see all this when I first met him. I didn't know the depth of his character and his staying power....not right away. Not at first. But over time, it became clear what this man of mine was made of.

So here's a little dating advice for any single people who might be reading this: Hold out for the one who stays and keeps staying. Hold out for someone who wants to keep drawing nearer, who wants to get to know you. Look for sincerity not only in his words but in his actions as well.

Hold out for someone who will stay with you through thick and thin. Because any man who lets the winds of change carry him away is too much of a light weight for you.

Why Middle Aged Women Love GM

I saw a GM commercial the other night and I had to give it to them: they know how to re-posture themselves. General Motors sounds brave. Their commercial talked about "this not being the end. This is only chapter one".

Oh, the things middle aged people could learn from GM! Or at least, the things we could learn from their advertising agency! They're pitching General Motors as brave, enterprising, and as a company that is ready to find a new position- a winning position-again.

In the face of financial catastrophe, they are "reinventing the automobile and our company". Wow. That's quite a feat. It'd be like a 48 year old woman getting a face lift and hiring a life coach at the same time. You can't just deliver a new product without delivering a new company that the product comes from.

Now, I'm not thinking of getting a face lift. But instead of hiring a life coach, I am deciding to be my own best life coach and direct myself into fruitful ventures, enterprising situations, fertile ground. You can do that, you know. You really can choose the best way to go- even if it takes many tries to find the best way.

The key thing is to not turn back. BE BRAVE. Take it from GM- and in the words of Hebrews 10:35 Contemporary English Version -"Keep on being brave! It will bring you great rewards".

Or in the words of T. Harv Eker- "Try this. The next time you are uncomfortable, uncertain, or afraid, instead of shrinking and retreating back to safety, press forward."

Sometimes pressing on is more of a messy stumbling forward than it is walking confidently with a fully planned route exposing all pitfalls. The reason we don't stumble forward enough is that we look around and we see so many composed Christians with smiles on their faces and the Word of God in their hands- as though this book had a million detailed maps contained within it and you just had to whip out the right one every time you were confused.

I'm a bit confused as to why Christians should be composed and all packaged together nicely. It seems to me that if we are growing and stretching and relying on God, that we will be, therefore, in all kinds of uncomfortable situations that stretch us and yes- make us a bit bewildered at times. I don't think Eker meant this advice directly for professing Christians, but it could be the best advice I've heard in a while:

"From now on, whenever you feel uncomfortable, instead of retreating back into your old comfort zone, pat yourself on the back and say 'I must be growing,' and continue moving forward."

So that's what I'm doing. I'm moving forward even though I don't feel comfortable at all. But that's not to say that I don't feel confident. I told my husband that I have never felt more sure that I have the God-given skills and abilities to help me triumph and prosper- and yet, I have never looked more the opposite. I'm not getting any younger. I'm 48, soon to be an empty-nester (in just a couple years), and I'm not in any concrete career track. I'm not on a direct certain route to Inspirational Identity, and I'm certainly not on a Fast-Track Career Track- or any track at all. (This is exactly what my father feared when I told him I wanted to be a writer, and wanted to major in English).

But like GM, I I know that I can start again. Or at least I know that I need to. I know it's a new chapter and I need to think on my feet even as I plan for a new product line that will dazzle the world.

What's my product that I offer to the world? Every time I hold onto my beat-up dreams, I tell the world that they have not seen the best of me yet. Just give me a minute. Give me a chance. And if the world doesn't want to give me that, I'll just take it anyhow- because it's mine for the taking.

Sunlight, Grace, and Itchy Skin

I woke up at midnight, itching all over, having gone to bed early last night, at 9:30pm. I'm sure that the itching was not just a reaction to sunscreen, sun light, and bug bites. I do have a problem every summer with adjusting to direct sunlight and I seem to get a type of skin poisoning where I itch all over and feel like I want to tear my skin off. It's a lovely feeling, let me tell you.

The first time this happened was when I was in Spain, at the age of 14. We were there on a two week vacation- my mom and dad and younger sister and myself. I laid out by the hotel pool one day and soaked in all the sun- and then later in the day went back to the room and started to writhe in agony as my skin reacted violently to the sun. I'm not a pale skinned blond, and I don't know why I suddenly couldn't handle all the sun.

So last night, after we got home from visiting with some friends (sitting outdoors in their backyard and eating fruit and talking and talking), I went to bed a little itchy, fell asleep, and woke up a LOT itchy. Maybe I had gotten a few more bug bites. Maybe it was adding in more sun exposure. And maybe it's the new soap we are using in the shower, cause we ran out of the gycerin Bath and Body Works soaps that we always use. I don't know what it was, but my skin was reacting.

But I didn't wake up just because of my skin itching all over. I also woke up because my mind was alert and stimulated by the honest and invigorating conversation my husband and I had earlier that day with our friends. I ate the cherries and strawberries that they beautifully laid out on a tray, and I ate up the honesty and the candor of our conversation. It's not so much that we aired our dirty laundry as it was that we all admitted we had dirty laundry that needed airing. We had "issues" and we all knew we did. But we're working on our issues. And we smiled at each other in relief of knowing that, really, that's all you can do. The sense of relief and lack of pretense was precious. Powerful. And I didn't know that it meant great grace was there.

When I say I'm "working" on my issues, on my deep seated thought patterns that are helpful and not so helpful- I mean it. It is work. It's a type of labor that goes against the norm of maintaining status quo. I'm changing the way I look at things, the way I frame my questions, the way I see myself, even.

On the other hand, I'm also recently consciously practising a type of non-work- which I now realize is called grace- where I deliberately don't allow myself to strain and strive in order to accept good things. And this is where the itchy skin comes in.

Sometimes Grace is so against the norm of what we humans think we should receive, that it's like getting too much sunlight. Grace can make you itchy, uncomfortable, fidgety. Flowing in a state of grace is rare. I think people who grasp what grace is expect to find it mysteriously powerful and almost overwhelming- like the way sun light can actually overwhelm your body if you get too much of it.

There are warnings when it comes to taking in the sun. There's sun burn and sun poisoning and even skin cancer. Watch out for too much sun light. But when it comes to Grace, can there be such a thing as too much? When the Bible mentions about "great grace" being "upon them all"- did it cause problems? Itching? Fidgeting?!

What would happen if we lavished grace on people, problems, and predicaments? What would happen if we gave ourselves grace when we hit a wall? What would happen if we were quick to give grace? What would happen if we admitted that we're still a bit fuzzy on what Grace is? I'm sure that we would have to keep redefining what grace is, just like I have to keep figuring out what is really making my skin react, cause there's so many things the skin reacts to.

Grace comes in a variety of expression and flavors. Grace changes how you react in a situation. I think grace is a balm that calms inflamed situations, shattered self esteem, and raw emotions. Grace doesn't just blanket things and hide their reality- instead, it helps you to cope and see the thing that scares you.

And maybe grace doesn't mean that no one is wrong or that nothing needs to be done. Rather, grace could mean "we've got a lot of work to do, this is a mess, and boy is this itchy and agonizing." Then Grace becomes the hand that restrains yours from scratching your skin so hard that you hurt yourself- even though Grace is also what is making you so itchy and fidgety.

Maybe I came home from our time spent with our friends, feeling like I had been more honest than I had cautiously intended to be. I was itchy and uncomfortable because I had been seen, known, and loved- warts and all. My friends drew me in with their accepting love and their own candid sharing. But then more than that, great Grace was upon us. So we all dared. We all shared. And even though we knew we couldn't really handle too much of it, we took a step closer to the Son light.

Another Open Door

I'd like to say that I haven't been posting as much because I've been too busy "doing" my faith (and not just praying about matters of faith)- but it's not quite true. I've been contemplative. That's a scholarly way of saying you're not doing much; that you're "simmering" your thoughts as you contemplate making decisions. Concrete decisions.

I'll tell you more, later, about the decisions I'm faced with, but I want you to know that when I say "that I'm faced with" that these are not grim-faced decisions I have to make. Not at all.

Lately I've been thinking about the gift of Choice, and how glad I am that I don't have to be a robot or a spiritual puppet or a meek mouse. I'm a grown woman and I get to act like one. This is the positive side of aging: you get to become more wise, and you should be getting wiser, even if you're getting more wrinkled.

That's nothing better than having a choice, or a say-so, in an important matter. And anything, really, having to do with your life, your values, your hopes, your children, your dreams- is an important matter.

So I'm feeling wealthy (again) because of the richness of Choice. I'm feeling inspired, again, because of the possibilities.

It's Friday, and it's the weekend. And just planning what we'll eat for dinner tonight is making me smile like a mischievous cat. If you haven't felt mischievous or felt like frolicking, maybe you haven't been feeling like you have many choices or many opportunities.

Tonight, instead of counting your blessings and naming them one by one, try counting the choices before you- even if it's only what you'll eat for dinner, when you'll go to bed, what you would like to dream about. Maybe by the time you wake up and the sun shines on you and infuses you with warmth, maybe you'll keep counting all the opportunities and choices you have before you. Maybe you'll see more and more. And then you'll wonder, like me, why you never saw them before.

When Prayer is Not Enough

I know, I know: the title of this post sound sacrilegious. But I'm not trying to be. I'm saying this respectfully when I say that I've recently become aware that I'm praying too much and not acting enough. ( I don't mean acting as in pretending or prancing around on the stage, either).

Here's just a little example of when praying could mean laziness or foolishness. We have our house listed for sale. There's a nice little sign out front telling the world that we're interested in selling our house. We are also Christians, so that means we are probably also praying that our house sells. Christians are supposed to "let our requests be made known to God"(Phil. 4:6). I think most Christians are pretty good about talking to God about all their problems and requests. I do that type of thing pretty well.

But what we also need to be doing, beyond praying about our house selling, is making it sell-able. I don't think God is going to do that part for us, no matter how much we request that He do. Though we did a lot of work on the interior, it's not the interior of the house that you first see when you drive by. Our driveway needs patching and a new top coating. We have more landscaping to do. One nice agent said that it has "a rather alpine feeling to it". That's a nice way of saying that we're covered in brush and trees.

We've got work to do if we want to get this house sold. That's just the plain hard truth. And that hard truth has recently been showing up in our life over and over again. Many of the things we want to progress in and change about our life have to do with the actions we will be taking, not the prayers we will be praying.

I do mean that literally. Most of the things that will physically change in our life ( our weight, our bank account, our jobs, our meals that we eat) all have to do with physical actions we take. Prayer might motivate these actions, or prayer can even sometimes spiritually hinder our actions. Well, not exactly Prayer itself- but what we think Prayer is and what Prayer does.

When I read Self-Help books, I'm always reading with an eye for what "the Christian" would say when reading statements about progress, change, behavior, action, goal setting. For many Christians, these words shock us or offend us. These words don't sound spiritual. They sound man-oriented, and we know we are supposed to be God-oriented, Faith filled, spiritually minded people. Do spiritually minded people make goals, plan ahead, make money, grow businesses? There's a debate about that. There's so much spiritualizing that goes on whenever talk turns to money, earning money, planning for business success, etc.

Want to make people squirm a bit? Try telling them that you are a committed Christian and you are a seeking to make more money. Or try telling them that you are reading the Bible and also reading 101 Ways to Grow a Multi Million Dollar Business- and that you're getting a lot out of both books. (And no,I'm not reading that book...yet- I just made it up. But something close to that title probably exists).

In this Chapter that T Hard Eker writes about playing the role of victim, he talks about Victim Clue #2: Justifying. He's a straight shooter. Listen to this:

"Rich people understand the importance of money and the place it has in society. On the other hand, poor people validate their financial ineptitude by using irrelevant comparisons. They'll argue, 'Well, money isn't as important as love.' Now is that comparison dumb or what? What's more important, your arm or your leg? Maybe they're both important."

I immediately thought of the many times I've prayed about something or heard about a friend praying about something- as though only prayer were needed. Have you ever heard a Christian say they're praying about a problem- and then months later you ask them how they're dealing with that problem, and they tell you they're still praying about it?! Maybe prayer and action are both needed here! But that's sometimes a tough thing for Christians to deal with.

She's so heavenly minded, she's no earthly good- ever hear that saying? It's a terrible indictment of any faith-professing Christian. Earth is where we need to be doing some good, 'cause Heaven doesn't need our help. Earth is where we need to be praying up a storm- and acting, in faith, because we have prayed.

Let me put another little blurb from Eker here: "Listen up, my friends: Money is extremely important in the areas in which it works, and extremely unimportant in the areas in which it doesn't work. And although love may make the world go round, it sure doesn't pay for the building of hospitals, churches, or homes. It doesn't feed anybody. Not convinced? Trying paying your bills with love."

Or in my case, try fixing my driveway with Prayer. Or try "bathing it in prayer", as we like to say. Hmmm. It still looks like a mess. The sink hole at the end of our driveway still is there. It's not as bad as the huge hole in the library's parking lot. That hole is so big they put orange cones around it and I don't even think that is warning enough, because if your car drove over that hole, you'd wind up in China- that's how bad it is!

So all this to say that Prayer is always good. Always. It's just that Prayer, by itself, is not always enough. At least, by that I mean, what we think Prayer is. We think it's talking to God about things and then God starts his heavenly fixing and arranging and orchestrating of events while we wait patiently- and maybe put a few orange cones around the problem so no one falls into it while we are waiting for our answer to prayer.

But that's a bit infantile of an understanding. Just like we can't deposit "love" into a bank account and expect to receive green bills in return, we can't just pray about things and then expect an answer to drop from the heavens.

We need to pray. And then we need to get to work. Whatever the work is, that's involved in the answer, you'll know. You'll know by the size of the problem and by the way it screams out for you to do something. Start with something simple, like seeing that the problem is there. Add some protective cones circling around it while you debate and pray and think about what to do. But don't wait too long. The hole will not fill itself.

The smelly problem does not get bathed in prayer and then miraculously stink no longer. No, the problem requires an answer. An answer usually involves action, of some kind. And maybe that's where we can start to see that not only though we prayed, but because we prayed, that we have work to do.

Judgment Day is Already Here

The good thing about this past year of economic distress and upheaval is that many of us have done a re-evaluation of what's important to us, what we need, what we can let go of, what really matters in the end.

If you didn't lose your job this year, you probably know someone who did. If you didn't tighten your belt, you probably know a family who has had to. But even if the nation's economic crisis hasn't hit home hard with you, undoubtedly it has affected you in some way.

My first instinct, when any type of crisis occurs, is to get through it. But after I've gone through a crisis- whether it's a health crisis or a financial crisis- then there's a need I have to know what I've gained from this tense situation. Did I learn anything? Is there something I needed to know- that I didn't know when the crisis was occurring? Is there something I gleaned from the situation?

Because, really, in my mind, why not at least benefit, in some way, from a crisis? Especially if you did not bring the crisis on yourself (that's a whole 'nother story), then why not get something good out of something painful? Why not really believe that "all things work together for good...." as Romans 8:28 explains.

This past year, my husband and I have hurdled over some tough times, blazed through some mental barricades, and struggled with some issues within us and around us that we knew we needed to deal with. We needed to not only make some decisions, but we actually had to make some judgment calls.

Oh, but that's a bad word to use around the Christian community! "Judge not that ye be not judged" will ring out before you can even explain what you're making a judgment on. You might even start to think that anything remotely having to do with making a judgment is bad- and therefore you could start to think you should never: make a decision, reach a conclusion, draw a boundary line in a relationship, or do anything related to deciding, discerning, evaluating, examining.

There's no basis for that type of erroneous thinking, though, if you look at 1 Corinthians 2: 9-16. The one line from this passage that make s a lot of Christians shudder is "But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one." The CEV version words it this way, "People who are guided by the Spirit can make all kinds of judgements....".

Really? We can? We can make judgments on things that happen to us, situations we're in? God has given us His Spirit and this Spirit is a light within us, it's a lamp unto our feet, yes, and also a sword that slices through situations. It's not a kiddy light made of cheap plastic, that only works for a moment and then it's worthless.

I love how the CEV version highlights the benefit of having God's Spirit within us: "we can recognize the blessings that God has given us". Oh, I see! And if, by God's discerning Spirit within you, you can recognize the good blessings He means for you to have, by this very same Spirit you will also discern and see what is NOT God's will, what is not good for you, what is not advisable or helpful or instrumental in you growing in faith.

We make judgments so that we can conclude correctly what is of God and what is not of God or not God's will (or at least conclude that we're not sure what His will is, in certain situations). We make judgment calls because if we don't we become people who never have an opinion, a conclusion, or the ability to close a door that should be closed. We are people who CAN make judgments, who've been freed to make judgments, and therefore we will be "scrutinizing, examining, and investigating spiritual value and implications" (CEV commentary).

If something has value in your life, you have to see it, decide it's worth or recognize it's worth. The implications of what you choose and what you do not choose to think, do, believe, accept, reject- are vast. Your mental health is at stake. Your faith is at stake. Your understanding of God's will, His love, His ways of dealing with us, are all at stake here. These are the implications of everything we choose and don't choose. And no choice is made without a judgment call first.

If You're Feeling Empty....Relax!

I've been rather quiet lately. At home, I mean. I still talk when I get together with people, friends, acquaintances, but then it seems like I'm done. Done talking. Done projecting my ideas and my conclusions. I really don't have too many of those anymore. I'm kinda empty. But in a good way.

I never realized that there are different kinds of emptiness. There's the emptiness you feel when you've lost a loved one, or you've lost a job, or you've lost your savings. There's also an empty feeling when you've been demeaned or despised. You can feel rather value-less and empty. It's a terrible feeling.

But then there's a kind of empty feeling when you've gone through a lot of stuff, dealt with a lot of junk, and now you're healed, possibly, but not exactly full of hope. Not yet. This is the time when dreams are germinating inside....again. This is the time when you're ready for a BIG idea from God- a new one- 'cause you're out of your own ideas. You're not feeling despair, just empty. Just ready for the New, cause you're done with the Old.

"Behold, I will do a NEW THING" God says to our empty hearts. We perk up and we sense how true that it is, and how ridiculous we've been to think we, ourselves, could usher in the new thing. We've been in our past and we are currently living out our present day. But we have not yet seen our future. God has, though. He's seen it all. And He's got a lot of new ideas that are bound to surprise us.

I haven't been very creative lately, although my cooking hasn't been terrible either. (But I am rotating the same dishes over and over.Last night was Grilled London Broil and Mashed Potatoes and Green beans. Nice, but not anything exciting).

I'm not writing anything amazing in my journal,either, and I haven't cooked up any crazy ideas lately, nor have I tried to entice my good friend, Mu, to do some kind of crazy adventure. She might just be a little empty herself- or at least a little tired. She certainly did a lot of energetic coaching and encouraging this past winter. It was a long winter, and I needed her help. She was there for me. She was really there.

Every time I try to pick myself up and get myself all energized to dream up some good career plans or income ideas or a potential house renovation, I feel God whispering to me "Relax." And implied in His message is the sense that I really couldn't do much more than relax and sink back into contemplation of the fact that the boundless possibilities I need to perceive are all going to come from Him anyways. So relax.

I've always had an issue with relaxing. The early bird gets the worm, not the relaxed bird. And I've somehow equated laziness with being relaxed. I'm sure some of this has to do with having a very industrious father who was an immigrant to this country.How many relaxed immigrants do you know? Nobody ever gets anywhere without a lot of hard work, diligent effort, striving, and persevering, right?

But then do these kind of hard working people know how to relax? And when do they relax? And do they struggle with feeling guilty when they relax? These are the things I want to know- and I think they are some of the best kept secrets.

I know very few relaxed Christians. It's a terrible indictment of us- as a people group. Nothing is more unattractive than a stressed out, uptight frowning Christian who tells you to put your trust in God and then you can have what they have- an uptight, stressed out life, but with salvation thrown in for good measure.

Lately it seems to me that to be relaxed, at peace, confident of God's love for you, that you would need the utmost of Faith. You would need to be someone who has heard God's heartbeat and you would need to be perceptive of God's good will for you. You would then anticipate good- not evil- from God. You would be able to be empty, and see it as a good thing- because you would anticipate that God loves to fill empty people- not empty them out further.

God doesn't deplete us. The world can do that. Unhealthy relationships can do that. Crises and problems can help to deplete you. But God fills you up. At least He desires to. Whether or not He can fill you to overflowing with love and hope may just depend on you and I seeing that He wants to.

And when we realize that we're empty, but we're reaching out to God for more-by Faith- then something good is about to happen. So relax. Loosen your shoulders. Take a deep breath. Act like your world is not collapsing, even if it feels like it is. And when someone asks you why you are so relaxed, tell them that you have no answers, no hope- apart from God- and therefore, you've got it made! You're more than fine. You're relaxed. Empty. And about to be filled to overflowing.

To That Man in China

This guy is not falling- he was pushed. PUSHED, mind you. At an hour and time in his life when he was debating the merit and value of his soul, his life- and someone pushes him off because he's frustrated and tired of the traffic jams that this suicidal man, standing on a bridge, was causing. This AP Photo tells a lot already, but you can read more about it here.

What's wrong with people that they can't seem to find empathy for someone in trouble- if it means that their own life will be inconvenienced or troubled momentarily?? Have we really come down to this- selfish anger over someone else who we feel is "selfishly" in trouble?

It seems that this is the underlying issue in this extreme case. One man is fed up and tired of those who are not stable and strong and successful. And maybe there's an underlying attitude here that the Pusher, in this story, felt- that if you're going to cause problems in society by not pulling your own weight, then at least fall apart quietly and away from my view and my route so that I am not hindered or inconvenienced by your agony!

Yes, according to Sir Walter Scott, its a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive, but it's a muddy, very deep hole we fall in when second we practise to add to some one's despair! From what I understand of the story, the Pusher guy was first going to try to talk the man down, but then he got fed up with it all, slipped through the police barricade, went up to the man and shook his hand- and then pushed him.

He survived the fall- but will he survive what happened to him? He was already battling mental illness of some kind, but maybe what he was battling was that he saw cruelty and meanness in the world and maybe nobody was agreeing with him. Maybe people made light of the heaviness and depression in his soul. His personal financial crisis was also enough that the man contemplated what no one should ever get to the point of contemplating. But we do. We sometimes get to a place in life where things look so bleak, so dark, so uncertain that we are not only beside ourselves, we are sick of our self, perhaps. And that's a scary place to be- if you have no friend, no dear one, to talk you down from your perilous perch on the top of a bridge.

Last night we got together with a couple I've known for a couple years, and my best friend Mu also, and we had a feast of fellowship. There was no pushing anyone over the edge. There was simply a lot of understanding, of "getting it", of camaraderie, of intuitive listening and a lot of nodding of head in agreement. We've experience some tough times, each of us, and we understood what the other was sharing.

I haven't felt that wealthy in a long time. You are rich when you have dear loving friends, when you have people who " get you", who know you, who see your value and your heart. You are not alone- when you are known.

I wish I could get a message to the man who was pushed from the bridge. I'd tell him that what happened to him was horrible beyond belief. But I'd also tell him that I'm so sorry that he got to the point in his life that he was so despairing of life and found himself on that bridge. I'd tell him that many times, many people have gotten to crisis points in their life, and we've all been on a type of bridge, at some point in our life.

The Apostle Paul, himself, had battled despair. At one point, Paul stated that “we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of our life. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).

But did you see that little tiny word in the above passage? Did you note that he said "we were burdened beyond measure"? There's nothing worse than being burdened and alone. But if we can go through tough times and crisis points with the arm of fellow comrade or friend around our shoulders, how blessed we are- even if we are blessed and burdened at the same time.

I'm so sorry, dear sir in South China, that you were burdened beyond belief. But I'm even more sorry that you felt so alone. I hope you feel the love and the prayers of those of us who have decided you shall not be alone anymore. We bathe you in our prayers. We uphold you with loving support, and we tell God- help this man, please. Overwhelm him not with trouble, but with your love. Let him know he is not alone.

And That's How HE Sees it

I've put it off long enough, and if I put it off any longer I will be a walking menace to society. Or a driving menace, rather. I need to get new lenses. Which requires an eye exam. Which requires me making the appointment and then realizing that I should pick out new frames while I'm at it. And frankly, the choices of eye glass frames are too many. So I'm tempted by my stay-in-the-safe-zone nature to just keep my old glassess and muddle on as I am- out dated and out of focus.

Except that I really do want to see clearly. I can't stand being in the dark about things. Lately I realize that the term "walking by faith" is not that accurate a description. Sometimes Faith is more of a frantic groping for something firm, stumbling in the dark, walking into No Where Land. When you "see" nothing before you, and you still remember your convictions of God's Love and His promised presence, that's when you are carrying the torch of Faith. It's blazing and it's bright- but it still doesn't light the path before you. You still may be in the dark about a lot of things.

I was reading through one of my favorite chapters, Hebrews 11, when I noticed how often the term "did not see" was mentioned or alluded to. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen...so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible...must believe that HE is (even though you can't see God)...By faith, Noah being warned of things not yet seen....Abraham...went out, not knowing where he was going (He didn't see "Homeland" in blazing lights before him.Probably all he saw was dust in the wind!).

There's more and more references to this factor of trusting God and hearing Him though you don't see Him. Though you don't see how He can get you to where you need to be. Though you don't see the solution or even see how there could possibly be one.

It seems God really gets psyched about our belief in His ability to be Everything we need- to the point that what we see-or don't see before us- becomes irrelevant. God loves people who not only walk by faith, but live by faith, stumble ahead by faith, keep the faith.

There's a fine line between being faith-filled and being filled with foolishness and stupidity. Frankly, the account of Noah building an ark, by faith, doesn't help us walk this fine line. I don't know that I would hang out with any Noahs today. I don't like crazy Christians, weird religious people, extreme fanatics. They scare me. They probably scare you too.

But I don't care for drippy drab middle-of-the line-believers either. There's nothing powerful or inspiring about someone who never takes risks, never believes big, and never gets near to looking ridicuolous- because they were moved by faith. And it seems God isn't too big on these kind of people either.

He's ready to reward those who believe in His amazing power and love. He's looking for those radicals who will draw nearer to Him at the risk of becoming a little too risky in their behavior. He's not looking to make anyone become a weirdo or a nutcase. It's just that in this strange world we live in, people moved by faith look even stranger.

But remember, what you see is not everything. We have yet to see and experience the wonder of what God wants to do in our lives if we will just rely less on what we see and instead hang on to the One who sees it ALL.

Pizza, Polls, and Potential

What a beauty! Yes the picture is a bit blurry, but the taste was superb. The yellow peppers, particularly, were sweet and juicy and mixed well with the sweet onion and olive oil drizzled all over it.

Alex made a calzone that had so many layers of cheese, we estimated the cost for the cheese alone to be over $10! So remember, making homemade pizza is not always cost effective- but who says everything has to be economical?!

Now this post has nothing to do with the deep things of life, and is not about wrestling with fear, or probing the underworld of subconscious thought, or dealing with the intricate issues that come up when you explore what faith is.

This post is simply about the kind of joy that you taste with your mouth. It's about taking time to do things like make homemade pizza and make a mess while you're at it. Staying neat and clean is over rated!

(P.S. Have you taken the poll on the right side column of the blog? Step right up and vote for your favorite pizza topping. Vote now! Not because it's going to cause world peace or create some huge change for good, but simply because its your vote, its your opinion...and it matters!)

Swimming WITH the Tide

It's pizza night tonight. Our creative juices are flowing and we are anticipating the feel of the pizza dough in our hands, the taste of the cheese melting in our mouth, the music playing loudly (I think it will be Kenny G tonight) and the sense of satisfaction we get from eating something delicious that we know how to make. We started out with some doughy crust, wrong sauce, not enough onions or mushrooms, and over time, we developed our pizazz with pizza- and boy are we glad!

We're pretty good at making pizza. And we're good at other things too. And of course, there's some things we're not too good at: like washing windows ( I do them intermittently- not regularly, like my mother did), keeping our car clean inside (it's more of a traveling trash and storage bin), and taking better care of Harry's ears (they should be cleaned regularly, but he dreads this, I dread doing it, and so...it doesn't get done that often).

I can tell you the things we're not good at- that I know we're not good at. But I can't tell you about the things we are failing in if I'm not yet aware of those things. And lately, I've been noticing how a lot of people's relationships, and sense of confidence and self awareness, have to do with our competencies and with our awareness of our competencies. And vice versa- cause you don't know what you don't know.

That's why I've thoroughly enjoyed reading Noah St John's book, The Secret Code of Success, because he delves into the some interesting issues having to do with success, competence, the sub conscious, and choice. He talks about the factor of being "unconsciously competent at allowing yourself to succeed". There are many people doing amazing things and doing them well- and yet they are not necessarily applying themselves more or working harder than someone else who is not succeeding in their attempt at something. They might just be unconsciously competent at something you can't, for the life of you, do.

Our family, for example, does not diligently work at making pizza night a success (but perhaps you might find it a lot of work and too much mess). It just is a Success because of many reasons: 1) I come from a long line of cooks/chefs (not professional ones, just people who loved to eat, knew how to work with food, and enjoyed doing it every day), so my husband and children have acclimated to this syndrome of always "working with" our food and enjoying the process, 2) This is how we cut loose and be loud and crazy and it really is good for our family to express itself this way, and 3) we love to taste the fruit of our labor- literally.

This is just an example- our pizza night- of one of our successes. Success has to do with flowing in a gift, reaping the fruit of your labor, and enjoying the process. Success is NOT about straining and striving and trudging up hill, against the grain, against the flow. Success is about Releasing your gift, Rejoicing in how God made you, and Remembering that God invented the whole process of sowing and reaping, of planting and harvesting. A successful day is a day lived fully. A successful family is a family being who they are, realizing their uniqueness, treasuring their time together.

I'm just thinking about that word a lot, lately. I'm seeing Success in a whole new light- and I'm seeing myself in a whole new way too. I've looked at certain so-called successful people, in the past, and thought they were successful because they were amazingly good at certain things that I could not do or achieve, like they did. Now I see that they may have simply- not heroically- been flowing in a gift, swimming with the tide- not against it.

It may be that I've spent too much time swimming against the current. I may have needlessly climbed too many mountains- instead of skiing or coasting down the mountains and yelling out deliriously with joy as I did. Maybe Success is more at my fingertips than I realized. It's like God- He's right there. He's not far away. And what a joyous discovery we make when we discover this truth!

So yeah, tonight is Pizza Night. It's an expression of who we are as a family. It's a night when our creativity flows. We're in the groove. We're in the Zone. We'll celebrate all that comes easily to us, all that we know how to do and that we thank God we know how to do. We rejoice in our competencies. Cause there's plenty of time to be aware of weaknesses and lack. Tonight we celebrate abundance and we celebrate Success. And it not only feels good to do so, but it sure tastes good too.

Alive and Kicking

What a week! Yesterday was the first day I did not have a doctor's visit scheduled for my son, Alex. This was a scary Asthma attack- the worst he's had in a long time. But the strangest thing about this stressful week was that it was also blissful. Really.

Part of the bliss was that our family was together. Having our son home from college- even if he was very sick and half out of it, at times- was like finding something that I had lost and didn't know I lost. I missed my son this year- terribly. And I didn't know how much I missed him; didn't know how much our home needed him here to make us all feel alive and together and blessed.

So yes- my week was blessed and stressed. But as he got better, day by day, my joy increased. Our laughter rang out. Harry, the couch potato that he is, got even more relaxed. The house got messier. Our schedule revolved around asthma treatments and medicine and cooking the most nutritious meals I could think of. And our home swelled with love.

Now, don't think I'm forgetting how much my son turns me gray! He still likes to push the envelope, stress me out, assert his individuality, stay up late, play his music loud. But you might say I am also going through a new stage in my life, in my faith: I am launching out into the deep, radically choosing right things for me, purposefully carving out a path that I would want to stay on and not just try out temporarily. I'm asserting myself, too- and I might just blast my music loudly!

I've been taking deep breaths and sighing with contentment lately. There's a sense of God's goodness all around me that I am more aware of than I ever have before. And the opportunity to choose Good, choose well and choose wisely, is before me in clear sight. There's a lot of things I have to make decisions about, but I am not feeling that stressed about these choices.

So while my college-aged son may live life loud and messily this summer, he is also going to have a mom who is feeling her youth being renewed, her stamina recharged, her sense of adventure whetted and ignited. Life is for the living. I'm alive and well. And more than that, I'm glad that I am.

Thank You for the Present

Dear Bill, Alex, Abby- and of course, Harry- and all the rest of you precious ones,

Thank you for a most interesting and precious Mother's Day. The fact that we were all together- at home, at the hospital emergency room, back at home again- well, that's what made the day so valuable, even if it was stressful at times.

Of course we started the day right, didn't we? I made the best french toast ever- even if I almost burned the bacon. But that was right after you told me, Alex, that you didn't feel well and wanted to see the doctor. Then I knew you were really sick. So we ate our breakfast and hurried off to the doctor appointment I made. Thank God, literally, that our pediatrician's office was on call this weekend. And that they're only a two minute trip away by car. And that they know you and your history of asthma and pneumonia, and that they take such good care of you always. Thank God.

And of course when they told us we needed to take you to the emergency room, thank God they called ahead and requested that you be seen immediately upon entering the Emergency room. We had packed a bag of snacks and water bottles because we thought it might be a long day at the emergency room. Dad packed the snacks because he thought ahead. he always does. And Abby was organized and efficient as ever- like a second junior mother. I told her she'd be a great nurse, while we were waiting for the doctor's assessment of Alex's breathing, but that I didn't want her to be a nurse because the job was so hard and stressful and grueling. She assured me she didn't want to be a nurse either- but then we thanked God for those people who did. Thank God for nurses.

The X-ray showed Alex did have pneumonia- and I thought it would be the case. Mother's intuition. I felt relieved that antibiotics would soon be doing their incredible work in your body and that you'd respond to them and start to improve. The breathing treatments and steroids had already worked their wonder on you, Alex, and I suddenly remembered that I should remember to breathe. I hold my breath a lot, unconsciously, when I'm stressed out. Abby patted my hand a lot while we were at the emergency room- but we also laughed together over the funny and often sarcastic comments that you often make, Alex. We knew you'd be okay because you had enough strength to be your witty wonderful self- even if you do like to push the envelope and my hot buttons all at the same time.

When we got home, Harry was there, waiting for us, all placid and calm. I felt like a wreck- especially after I got all the prescriptions filled at the nearby pharmacist. Thank God for pharmacists. I talked with our doctor by phone to decide which medicines Alex needed more of and assured her we would call again in the morning and come in to have them check on Alex again.

So we did what we always do if we're feeling happy to be together as a family, and hungry as well- we made homemade pizza. Probably the best pizzas we ever made. Or was it because everyone ( but me) ate them so gratefully and hungrily- and with relief. I ate with relief, at least; the little I could eat. I was just glad we were all well- or at least on our way to being well.

Bill folded laundry- because Alex had only come home the night before (he came home sick, exhausted, and with a ton of dirty laundry), and already my husband found a way to accomplish several loads of wash during the stressful day we just had. So Bill folded laundry and I collapsed on the bed.Abby gave me a foot rub. Then I coaxed Alex to lie down and relax and he finally gave in and collapsed on the bed next to me. Harry jumped up on the bed and joined us. And we were one happy family. I felt such bliss- cause we made it through the day and even had some fun delicious moments interspersed through the day.

So what if I spent my Mother's Day at the doctor's office and then Emergency room and then finally back at home. We spent it together.My kids are with me. I had incredible help and support from all kinds of wonderful people throughout the day.

You might just say that it was probably the best Mother's Day I've ever had. Cause all throughout the day I was so aware of how so many people do so much to help so many. Mothers need these kind of people in their lives. Every one needs helpful people in their life. And they are out there.

So thank you, everyone who touched our life yesterday; thank you for the best present I could have on Mother's Day. You all helped me survive as a mother- and more than that, I triumphed. Cause love conquers all. And there was a lot of love yesterday. An awful lot of love.

Quote for the Week

"The word progress comes from the Latin progredi, which means 'to step forward'. Life is not about being perfect; it's about having the courage to move forward one step at a time."

-Noah St. John, Author

Every Time I Eat an Avocado

I stuffed myself with more fajitas than I should have eaten, really- but only because I had put chopped avocado in the fajitas I custom designed, and I just can't say no to avocado or anything that has avocado in it. Sprinkle salt and pepper on a half a ripe avocado and eat it right out of the skin. Delicious.

I never eat an avocado without thinking of my Dad. Never. He was the one who introduced me to the taste of avocado- as well as to any other interesting, exotic, foreign flavor. Dad would be eating an avocado with a spoon and glancing over at me (well, glancing down at me, because I was little) and he would purse his lips and murmur how delicious it was and how I could not have any avocado.

But maybe someday I might be able to taste it, he would add. Someday. And so one day after he thought I had waited long enough, had longed for it long enough (because that was what he was trying to do- get me to long for something I wouldn't have normally longed for), he gave me a taste of it. And of course, I loved it. Mission accomplished.

So tonight, like several nights a week, I ate half an avocado, thought of my Dad, remembered how he wanted to always introduce me to the best and brightest of flavors and experiences. He still wants me to have the best of experiences. I thought of him tonight, and I thought of how he was trying so hard to be tender and caring with my Mom the other day.

Mom's not doing too well. It's getting bad again- the depression, her desire to stay in bed, the fear. I didn't handle it well. I had gone over for a visit and tried to get my Mom to enjoy the new clothes we had bought her: soft, pastel cotton tops, comfortable velour sweat pants, a sweater with pockets for her tissues. But that kind of comfort and beauty wasn't going to meet her need that day.

Dad was patient. He tried to talk to her and get her to accept our love, our help, our interest in trying to make things nicer for her. We wanted her to come for a drive with us, and get a bite to eat. She wanted to stay in bed. She wanted to sleep and let the world fade away- let whatever was bothering her fade into dreamland. She closed her eyes and took her nap. We took a deep breath...and went out for a quick lunch. And the world went on. I came home. Went to sleep. Got up today. Went about my day. Enjoyed the sunlight. Ate an avocado tonight.

This has been a long journey. Our whole family is on an interesting bumpy, uphill, sometimes downhill journey. It's a long journey spiced with good memories and sometimes sad ones, and flavored with love, salty tears, trying times, special times, and yes, the wonderful taste of avocado.

Swine Flu and The Things That Matter to You

Education is good, but too much information- which can come through education- might be overwhelming. If you want to be an informed, upstanding good citizen, you should listen to the nightly news. If you want to be sane, sober minded and healthy with peace and perspective, you might not want to listen to the nightly news- at least not listen to it too much. It's a coin toss, really.

Wow, what a ride we are having in this nation. It's been a roller coaster. Between the upheaval in the economy, the drastic downturn in the stock market, the escalating unemployment rate, the horrific housing market, and now the threat of swine flu, we are all asking ourselves if we mistakenly woke up in the middle of a nightmare! And if that is the case, it seems we're trying to find a way to get back to restful sleep so that we can possibly wake up in a better part of this dream. When will things get better? Can they get better?

I'm not a medical expert, and I'm not a financial seer, and I'm not a prominent government leader with power to make some fast concrete changes that would affect the masses, so I may not seem to be anyone you should listen to. And you shouldn't listen to me if I speak from my own insight and human perspective.

But let's just see if we can tap into the great mysterious underground of God's Wisdom and Love and see if we can find something very concrete to stand on here. Nobody is looking for another Kum-by-ya song or some rote prayer or some foolish human proclamation of peace when there is no peace. It seems we're all looking for the most concrete, most grounded thing we can stand on- at least in these times.

This is not what we were looking for years ago. Years ago what we were looking for was an exhilarating ride into greatness or wealth. We were looking for fast trips and luxury and more and more things to satisfy our longing for More. Some of us were looking for career advancement, recognition. Some of us were looking for romance or for Mr. Right- and the T.V. show, The Bachelor, became a great fun way to vicariously help someone find their true love. In years past, rock solid BORING stability was not what we were looking for.

But that's what many of us are looking for now. Peaceful days. A Cook out with true friends and loved ones by our side. A glance at our kids and a sigh of relief that they're all healthy and safe. A look at our bank account and a feeling of peace that there's enough- not much- but enough, enough to pay bills. A job to go to- never mind it being a great job or having a promising future. These are the things that we are finally content with. And we're content with these simple things, now, because we're in scary times. And scary times make people take inventory of what is the most needed in their life.

I think, then, that we might possibly be in the best of possible times- only because we are grounded into reality, called upon to take an account of our life and of what is true and what is necessary and what is loved; only because we are experiencing tremors and rumblings and de-stabilizing events and so we want the most rock solid thing that we can find now. We want Stability. We want Strength. We want Security... and where is it??!

It's Here. HE IS here, I should say. God is with us.

God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
the tremors that shift mountains.

Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us. Psalm 46:1-3

I love how Brenda Waggoner brought up a powerful quote from Oswald Chambers, in her book Fairy Tale Faith: "Oswald Chambers says that if we are to have 'staying power during the alarm moments of life,' we have to be grounded in God's basic truths." We are experiencing the "alarm moments of life." Right now.

Well some of us have been spouting off Bible quotes about God's love for years, some of us have been writing about how God is Powerful and that we should believe in Him, and some of us have been aware that there is a God who created the world and that He supposedly is Able to Keep us From Falling- but now we are going to have to live those beliefs as purposefully and intently as a marathon runner trains and zeros in on that last mile.

We've got to be pit bulls of the Faith, not pampered and spoiled poodles. We've got to laugh in the face of danger, not at any one's misfortune and not because we are insane or foolish- but because when our laughter rings out, by faith, God laughs too. Joy electrifies a troubled situation. Peace permeates the prison and the locked doors split open. People walk out into the sun shine and declare they are not going to be afraid. Not while they know the most amazing truth that God not only will reign and be Strong- but that He will reign in their life and be Strong on their behalf.

Can You Tell What I Believe?

I'm going from reading a beautiful and rather soothing book, The Noticer, to reading a book that is so direct and caustic in tone that the author, Larry Winget, is described as "the pit bull of personal development". You might ask if I'm crazy for selecting his book to read or if I just have a mini death wish. But it's for the very fact that I don't want to be crazy or at all unstable or imbalanced that I deliberately choose books to read that are outside of my comfort zone.

It's good for me to not have everything delivered to me on a silver platter. (But if I could have Tea and toast with marmalade, delivered to me on a silver platter once a week, I'd take it in a heartbeat!). And if Truth needs to come at me disguised in tough words and sharp, straight shooting observations, so be it. The main thing is that you get more and more of the truth; that your eyes get opened, that light and revelation come.

Everyone knows that famous speech Martin Luther King Jr. gave, "I Have a Dream"- but not everyone knows what your particular dream is- do they? Everyone has a dream. Even the most placid and methodical of us have a dream deep inside- even if they don't think they do.

Some people just have a dream that they will one day be free from anxiety. Some people have a dream of something more concrete- like owning a BMW Convertible. Both those dreams sound good to me, but one of them is more crucial to a prosperous life- and it isn't the dream of the BMW. You can live without a BMW but you can't live with anxiety and fear choking the life out of you. That is not living it up. That is not the abundant life.

Just the subtitle of this book makes me remember the truth that we, as humans, sometimes sabotage ourselves- though we forget that truth, ignore that truth, or rebel against the thought of it being true. And I think self-sabotage might come from the root of not wanting to love yourself. To really love and care for your soul, you have to free yourself to receive God's goodness and to believe His promises of provision and care. You can't have a bent in you that rejects good- even if its at a tiny almost invisible level.

My best friend, Mu, and I chatted by phone yesterday morning and we wound up discussing mental health and the battle that today's Christian has to not only hold his or her steadfast convicitions, but to also live this abundant life Christ talked about. And to live an abundant life you have to be healthy in your spirit. "Out of you shall flow rivers of living water" Christ said, but sometimes instead its rivers of tears and weeping over what troubles us, what we're anxious about, what assails our spirit and makes us unwell.

For all the proclamations we Christians make about God's Love, and God Bless You, and Thank God, and God is Good- we really might not be believers- true believers- of these statements. Whether we are real believers of these truths will show up in not only what we give to others of ourselves, but in what we are willing to receive- directly from the hand of God, and from the hand of God expressed through others.

Lately I care very little about details of doctrine, and I am caring much more about the reality of what I believe as it is expressed in not only my words and actions but in my thought life and mind-peace in particular. This is my latest thought- that the best witness I can be for the reality of Christ in me, the Hope of Glory- is that troubled people, anxious people, worried people (and I think there's a lot of them in this world, don't you?) that these people, if they were hanging out with me for a day, would say that their experience with me resonated with grace, peace, soundness of mind, healthiness of spirit.

This experience I'm having with knowing the reality of the peace and grace of God so concretely that I am healthy in my emotions and thinking- this experience is powerful. It's powerful not just because it is Abundance, it is Strength all the way to my bones- but it's powerful because it touches others. It can cause a ripple effect that surges into waves of blessing. It's powerful because a healthy mind at peace and at rest is going to wind up being sought after and prized more than having a convertible or a million dollars.

That's what I'm thinking today. Do you see what I'm talking about here? I'd love to know your thoughts.

And may your thoughts today be sound and healthy and stayed on Him.

What You've Possibly Been Searching For

This book is a bit confusing at first (is it a memoir? fiction? a self help book phrased as a parable?), somewhat pedantic and preachy at times, but possibly one of the best books I've ever read- as far as it being A LIFE CHANGING READ. And frankly, that's why I read books.

Yes, there's times when I read for an enjoyable breezy ride that distracts me from my momentary troubles. And then there's times when I read memoirs, in particular, and am engrossed in the pain and the beauty of someone's actual life and thereby moved and provoked to appreciate my own life.

But for the most part I read hungrily, thirstily- like a woman in the desert searching for a spring of water. And what I'm searching for is Truth. Revelation. Wisdom. Something concrete and foundational to stand on- cause I don't like feeling shakey or sketchy in my thinking.

The Noticer, by Motivational Speaker Andy Andrews, is a book for someone like me, then. Perhaps its because the author of the book might have just taken a similar route in life as I have: he's gone through some good and some painful times, has questioned about what it all means, has read voraciously and with intent to learn and glean, and now he wants to share the bounty in his basket.

This book is not sensational or sizzling, or intricate in plot and character development. It might be slow moving at times, or it might be a little too fairy tale like. What's with this character, Jones? Is he an angel? Did this really happen as Andrews writes it? How embellished is the story or how much has it been crafted with poetic license in order to turn it into a living parable? These are the issues I have with the book.

But the blessings in this book make me say- who cares about all of that? Does a drowning man care about the saving person's background and style? No, he only cares about the rope being tossed. And this is what Andy Andrews throws out to the reader: his own wealth of experience and his accumulation of insight and PERSPECTIVE from having read thousands of books, biographies, historical accounts of people in crisis and what these people learned. Andrews then presents to the reader a simple story that has a prophetic undercurrent.

If you know how to put your ear to the ground, so to speak, and listen for the rumbling of God's voice or feel the presence of God through someone's words, then you will love this book. I say that firmly and I say that prophetically. If you're hungering for the beautiful peace and hope that come from getting a new look at life, at yourself, you will feast your way through this book.

I went through this book with a pen and marked the statements that spoke to my heart. I marked up the book a lot. I felt certain statements and insights were directed at me specifically. For example, when I read "I say to you that, as you lay your head down tonight, you are sleeping on fertile ground" -I felt as if I had received a blessing and a proclamation. It was true. It is true. I suddenly saw it and believed it in a way I couldn't have agreed with before.

People who struggle with worry, and fear, regret over old age, questions about making right choices- you'll read this book and think it is a gift from God that you did. At least that's what I think you would feel. And if you didn't feel blessed and surprised by this book's influence on your life, maybe it would be because you had discovered some of these truths and powerful principles already. Maybe you are filled with a lot of wisdom already.

If so, please write a book and share with us all this bounty of blessed insight and perspective. 'Cause that's what Andy Andrews did- he prepared and set out for the reader to enjoy all that had brewed within him, all that he had learned from having been burdened and then blessed to have been relieved of. He shared his life and he shared all that he has read over the years, through the words of a character named Jones.

And more than that, he shared a key. Take it if you want. Use it to open the door. The door to what, you ask? Well, only you could know that.

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*I am a member of Thomas Nelson's Book Review Blogger Program. Check it out: Thomas Nelson

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Opening the Treasure Chest of Wisdom

I'm having the time of my life, lately. That it coincides with Spring, warm weather and sunshine (we're going to hit the high 70's today!! woo-hoo!!) just adds icing to the cake. A lot of this joy I'm feeling has come from my perspective changing on things, and my perspective has changed because of who I'm talking to and what I'm reading.

Let me tell you- I am one wealthy person! Well, at least when it comes to access to books and ideas. I have a great huge public library (well, I don't have it as in own it, but I might as well own it with the way I have complete access to all the benefits of it and none of the responsibilities that go with ownership except that of returning my books on time). This library is literally within a couple miles of my house, and I practically salivate at the thought of going to it- which happens to be at a rate of 3-4 times a week, usually.

I'm a book hog- and I don't make any apologies. Now my daughter has joined the rank of Book Hogs United and we both plan our trips to the library and what we're picking up when we get there as if we were miners talking about a pending gold strike.

I'm about to update my reading list (side column) but for now, let me say that I'm reading 3-4 books at the same time and I don't want to get through these too fast. I don't want the journey to end too quickly.

Here's a brief nugget of wisdom that came to me today after reading just a bit in two of the books. You might say that I'm coming up with a few enlightened conclusions of my own after compiling the honesty and wisdom and truth and perspective that I get out of these books: I am a person who has battled through some trials, but I never realized that in battling so long and so hard, that I might get to the point where I might not be able to just relax and enjoy Times of Refreshing- if they came.

And they have come- these times of refreshing, this season of coming out of the trench and realizing that its not all about battles and challenges. Sometimes its about laughing and living and loving and lightening up. Seriously- I need to be a bit more frivolous and light hearted and....dare I say...irresponsible. I only say that because I know myself- and for me, leaning towards irresponsibility, instead of tightly clenched and stoic responsibility, is a good thing. Its needed. It's high time. Enough of adversity. It's time for....Hmmmm. Time for something else.

If God uses adversity and trials to polish us and purify our hearts, then what is the opposite of adversity and what does this Opposite accomplish in our lives? I think the opposite of Adversity is Prosperity- and in this time of political and economic unease and despair, even- how the heck do I think I should be feeling prosperous, much less actually be prosperous?

Well, I'll get to that. For now I just want to tell you, my readers, that I feel like a kid in the candy shop. I'm finding out that God hides joy under heavy boulders. That there are surprises- good surprises- ahead of me, and not just calamity, catastrophe, and cautious times.

I want to tell you about one excellent book, in particular, that I'm reading- but I'll be writing a thorough review of that in a couple more days. For now, you might say I'm a walking review of it. See me grinning ear to ear and my shoulders relaxed and my eyes sparkling and reflecting a zest for life again. It's not always uphill.

And by the way, nothing big or significant has happened in my life these past couple days. I didn't inherit a million. I didn't win a trip to Bermuda (but I 'd like to!). I just dove into some great reading, opened my heart, felt God touch me through these authors- through what they were saying, and what I was then saying to God- and now I'm just walking with a lighter step and a sunnier outlook.

You might say I feel like a prosperous woman. And that's probably the first step to prosperity after all.