If this was Monday night, I'd be watching the Bachelorette. I'm fascinated by that reality show, even if it has some stuff in it that's not exactly kosher. I'm always interested in why people choose what they do, and in particular, why women choose what they do when it comes to dating and potential marriage. I'm hoping that the bachelorette, Jillian, will choose substance, and not flash. But these shows have not always yielded promising results. I've narrowed my list down to a couple favorites who I think are good, solid men- but I don't know if Jillian will see what I see.
Speaking of favorites, for some reason my husband is not only playing a lot of old favorites, like Kenny G and BB King, but now he's also adding in....Willie Nelson. Yup. The King of Twang was crooning to us while we ate our dinner tonight. I managed to do a beautiful pork tenderloin roast- not undercooked (oh no, trichinosis!) but not overcooked either (oh no, we're eating leather for dinner!).
I was so enjoying the old crooner. He can really sing. But when Julio Iglesias joined him on that song "To All the Girls I've Loved Before", I started to notice the words. The chorus, in particular. Then I was laughing. Then I was disgusted. Then I thought of all the women who've bought this type of ridiculous reasoning, and I was mad.
There's nothing I hate worse than to be taken. Fooled. Like the way Eve was fooled by the serpent. Like the way men "worm their way into homes of weak willed women". Like the way people actually buy the stupid reasoning, which Willie and Julio sang, about why there were so many girls in their life and why they couldn't stay with one of them:
The winds of change are always blowing And every time I try to stay The winds of change continue blowing And they just carry me away
The thought of the wind sweeping a 200+ lb. man out the door and away from a loving woman is...well, ridiculous. I don't think the man tried hard enough to stay.
Love stays. Love sticks it out. Period.
Now, there are winds of change. That part of the verse is true. People change. Our ideas change. Our plans change. But what does that have to do with sticking it out with someone you profess to love?
Don't know why I'm ranting and raving about this, except to say that for almost 25 years I have been married to a man who does a lot of beautiful loving things to show he loves me:
He washes the dirty pots and pans that I hide in the oven (and there are some there, right now, as I write this!).
He listens to me- really listens to me when I talk to him.
He sees me as capable of doing anything I set my mind to.
He is patient when I'm not, and silly and humorous when I'm cranky.
He loves our two kids fiercely and fathers them in such a way that I don't think they'll have issues trusting that a Father God loves them eternally.
He does a lot. He loves me a lot. And most of all, no matter how the winds of change are blowing, he doesn't have to work hard to try and stay with me. He's practically glued to my side. He's a keeper. He's a Lover. He's my Everything.
And I didn't see all this when I first met him. I didn't know the depth of his character and his staying power....not right away. Not at first. But over time, it became clear what this man of mine was made of.
So here's a little dating advice for any single people who might be reading this: Hold out for the one who stays and keeps staying. Hold out for someone who wants to keep drawing nearer, who wants to get to know you. Look for sincerity not only in his words but in his actions as well.
Hold out for someone who will stay with you through thick and thin. Because any man who lets the winds of change carry him away is too much of a light weight for you.