Monday, August 20, 2007

I've Changed My Mind

I've changed my mind, literally. No, I don't mean I'm going back and forth between decisions (though I have done that!). I mean- I have changed my mindset- my point of view. I say this by faith, I say this by expectation of God's help, and I say this with a drop of evidence that I see. But nevertheless, I am changing everything about me. I've decided to appropriate this newness of being that we can have when we are walking with Christ.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Christ in me, the hope of glory! Christ IN me means I do have hope that I CAN change. And not just change a couple things about me, but ALL things. I don't mean a personality change- a change in temperament and in my history- but I do mean a change in how I see me, and how I know God sees me, and therefore how I act, and in what direction I press onward.

It started with a dream I had the other night. In my dream, I was in my car, crossing a bridge up high in the mountains. I felt afraid of the heights and I saw the steep drop all around me. I was going forward, though- even though I was afraid. And as I drove forward, I felt the love of God encompass me, hem me in, hover over me. Such a juxtaposition of feelings. On the one hand, I felt afraid of the heights, and aware of the openness all around me, but on the other hand, I felt protected, and almost as if there were the weight of wings spread over me. I was feeling fear, but I was drawn to the love I felt- so I could go forward. And I did.

I've decided I don't have to look around at myself all the time, stick in the spiritual thermometer to see how I'm doing, taking my spiritual pulse and continually assess my spiritual health, all the while murmuring sadly in a low voice "not good, not good at all."

I can't make it with that kind of suffocating introspection over every mistake I make, but nor can I make it by being a foolish daredevil and just set out over the heights and walk across a rope, overly confident in my own abilities. But I can be confident in His abilities!

"He makes my feet like hinds' [feet], And sets me on my high places. (NASB) 2 Samuel 22:34 tells us.

( He makes my feet like those of a deer and gives me sure footing on high places.)

HE says I've got feet like a deer, able to go up into scary high places and not fall.He says I can have the mind of Christ. HE says He has not given me a "spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"- and I've decided to say "Thank you" and appropriate what HE says.

I changed my mind about how I feel about myself- which is the fact that some days I like me, and some days I'd like to trade myself in for a newer, improved model. And then I realize that God has already traded me in- redeemed my life, given me Christ "in me" as my hope of glory.

"From glory to glory He's changing me..." the song goes.

And it all begins with what I think about that- do I believe it? And I've decided that I do. I've decided to take His perspective on me as truth.

So, I've changed my mind.

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